Envy's Letters
by Icefrosty
Summary: For the neglected fans of my FMA fic 'HomUnculuS'-write letters to a sophisticated Envy and  sometimes OC Edward Green, who have been teleported to the present day via the Bastard Truth, settled down, got a computer, and they shall glagly respond!
1. Introduction!

Envy's Letters

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_Dear Reader/Fan,_

_My, hello everyone! It's been quite a while since I have last updated the story of my life 'HomUnculuS', but between you and I: **Edward has been very much taken up by his teenage hormones that have kicked in rather early, and...he's been a bit of a handful recently! **So, to compensate while I finish up my next chapter, I have embraced the exciting art of online letters, and shall thus respond to your "'net letters" (no swearing, please, unless in jest! I shall not take kindly to nastiness) and whatever questions, tit-bits of information, and greetings you wish to bestow._

_If I am able, I will persuade Edward to respond to your letters either by himself or alongside my own. I apologise for any offense he may deal out, depending on his mood._

_Goodness, it was such a trial getting used to these confounded machines you humans call 'computers'! They try my patience so with their endless keys and problems and commands! So, if I am ever late in my responses, assume that I have flung this wretched contraption clean out of the window in a blind rage, and am in the process of buying a new one._

_I hope all of you will have as much fun writing your letters as much as I will enjoy receiving and responding to them!_

_Yours sincerely,_

_Envy (Homunculus)_

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_P.S: The next installment of 'HomUnculuS' will be up shortly! Please be patient and forgive my horribly long 'haitus', as you call them._

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><p><strong>Hey there, Icefrosty here! (and before any ofyou ask, Envy is not really the writer of 'HomUnculuS'. I've just made out that he is here XP)<strong>

I'm so, so sorry for the long wait-I've been caught up in exams and my other fics that I have been updating on my Deviantart account, so I've barely had time to update my fic HomUnculuS. I hope you'll enjoy contributing to this write-and-response malarky!

So yeah, I decided (very late) to do this to entertain you fans of HomUnculuS (which this 'Letters' fic takes after, thus Envy is the way he is), and perhaps even those who are not aware of my fic, while I continue with the next chapter.

**Important Note: You'll have to imagine that Envy and OC Edward Green were transported to the present day instead of the past for this one, have decided to live here, and go on from there ^^**

Those who are fans can relate to events and people and whatever in the chapters so far. You can be literally anybody-yourself, another FMA character from the original anime/manga series, someone from my 'HomUnculuS' fic, or the hobo from across the street—anything! XD You can also ask and say anything—but if it's something rude, keep in mind that Envy will not react in a positive manner, shall we say!

To post a letter, please either PM me or post it in a review, either way is fine ^^.

Thank you so much for your reviews and patience, and have fun!

-Frosty x


	2. Mr, Mrs, and Elicia Hughes!

Yo!

What's up Envy? I heard that you are having some troubles with the little one? Hope he isn't too handfull as kids can be you know. Other's except my cute little daughter Elysia-chan! She is the most wonderful child! Real angel you know and she is smart too, makes papa really proud. It's so wrong that I can't add her picture here so that you could see her too. Just imagine the worlds most cutest, sweetest and lovely girl! Oh and she is same age as Edward! I bet that they would have so much fun playing together. Does Edward even have friends that are same age as him to play with him? My wife and I have read your story and I even told few of friends about it the other day, maybe they will send you a letter too. It's little hard to belive everything that has happened to you guys but somehow my wife and I think that you are telling the truth. Dunno why because it sounds like absolute fiction, sorry. I hope you are safe now and to make sure of that, me and my wife would love to invite you two to a dinner! Except if you live in really really far away, then we have to think again what to do.

That reminds me, where are you two excatly living now? Do you have a apartment? Please don't tell me that you two don't live in the street because then I would have to come and kidnap you two so that I could bring you here. It's really bad for a child to live in the street, it's dirty there and cold at night! Can't never imagine a life like that to my Elysia! My lovely daughter! No, no, no! I will have nightmares tonight! So horrible... But I am sure that what ever happens to you two you Envy will protect Edward, that is the duty of adult and right now you are his guardian. It makes me angry to think what kind of person Edwards mother was, parent's should always love they children and make sure everything is okay! I ask Elysia everyday if she is happy and do everything that I can for her! Have you and Edward sleeping and eating well? Remember to brush your teeth every morning and evening! it's really important you know. Well time flows and I think I will finally have to start doing some work too. My coworkers are starting to look little too busy. I think that they have eaten something bad because of the look in their face.

We hope the best for you and would like to hear more from you and Edward!

Maes, Gracia and Elysia Hughes!

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><p>Dear Mr., Mrs, and Miss Hughes,<p>

Goodness, thank you very much for your letter! It means so much to myself and Edward that such lovely people care about our welfare! Ah, you have read my story! It is getting so popular now-I'm very surprised! Just to confirm, all events described in its pages are indeed real. But I can understand why you would think it was not (it is very much in the rhelm of fantasy, after all). Well, stranger things have happened, according to my research on this time. Strange goings on in the shadows of Amestris, odd occurances of alchemists being 'bumped off', as you say, and seemingly deliberately set off civil strifes across the various regions. My, and I thought imy/i time was filled with enough problems! No matter, I plan to investigate myself. Hey, you are a member of the military, are you not, Mr. Hughes? Would you please consider allowing me to join the military so as to properly carry out my goals? I would very much appreciate it!

Edward has been better today, but no doubt this will swiftly change. His hormones are out of control! How do you suppose I deal with this? Being stuck in a body in which no such imbalances occur, I don't know what it feels like to be an emotionally-imabalanced pre-teen...Would therapy be in order?

Your daughter sounds, and no doubt is, a wonderful child blessed with wonderful parents! I would be delighted to meet her! Oh, thank you very much for the invitation! Please bestow an appropriate date, and we will be more than happy to join you for dinner!

Oh, and do not worry, we are currently living in an apartment given to us by a good and generous friend of ours-perhaps you know him-Edward Elric! It is small, but it is a perfectly comfortable accomodation. I have aquired a part-time job at the local supermarket while progressing through a course on Law, so as to become a court judge someday, for reasons you shall discover in the next two chapters of my book! Thank you for your concern!

I will indeed protect Edward with every fibre of my being. He has been the source of my very joy and peaceful existence since that day five hundred years ago when he broke me out of that flask in the deplorable freak show. I would say that I would protect him my entire life, but, you see, it is agony to say this, but... Edward will inevitably die way before I do. I can only protect him for his entire life, not mine, regrettably.

And yes, it is awful what Edward's mother made him endure. I know not what happened to the woman since we left that house. I often think about it. Perhaps her son's departure made her reform her disgusting ways, or maybe she wasted away there on her precious alcohol.

On a happier note, Edward and I have been managing very well, thank you, and will definately continue to do so! I hope the same for you and your family too! When I visit, I will make sure to bring you all a gift, and a toy for little Elicia-what would she like best?

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Best regards,

Envy (Homunculus)

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P.S: Co-workers can be very irritating-mine are constanting complaining! It takes all my willpower to stop from punching them!

P.P.S: Yes, Edward would no doubt love to have a playmate his own age! I worry he gets lonely. Thank you for your offer (I am also secretly imagining their wedding XD Silly me and my fantasies!


End file.
